Pamela Jean McSpadden

On November 10, 2025, Pamela J. McSpadden died peacefully at home. Since suffering a stroke on January 15, 2025, Pam took every opportunity to get outside and sit in the sun, finding great pleasure and solace in its warmth and energy. It is fitting, then, that she died resting in the sun’s rays and surrounded by family.

Pam was born on April 4, 1948, to Doug and Norma (Troop) Carleton. Her dad’s sales job took them to Oklahoma City, Des Moines, and St. Louis. Across these moves and throughout her life she stayed close to the Carleton and Troop families, including her cousins Denise Lovelace (Mark) and Skip Carleton (Rike) and their children.

After high school, Pam stayed in Missouri to attend Southwest Missouri State and start her teaching career in St. Louis. There she met Vance McSpadden, the self-proclaimed chair of the “welcoming committee” for new residents at the apartment complex. He managed to win the affection of Pam, a testament to Pam’s ability to see beyond these displays of gusto. They were married for 54 years, a time filled with many wonderful memories, including trips all over the country with the PMAA Midwest Executive group.

Pam instilled wisdom, lavished love, and demonstrated unbridled pride in her son, James McSpadden. She later extended that pride to her daughter-in-law, Elizabeth Moran, and granddaughter, Olivette McSpadden-Moran. Pam loved Olivette bountifully; hardly a holiday passed without Olivette receiving a shipment of festive gifts, some purchased but many homemade. In doing so, she passed along her love for holidays.

Pam always saw family as a broad tent made up of people with whom you are related and people who join you along the way. In addition to the Carletons, Pam loved and was loved by the entire McSpadden family. She leaves behind two cherished sisters-in-law, Jane Dearman (Joy) and Greer McSpadden; nieces and nephews, Shaman McSpadden, Callie Acree (Philip), and Seth Dearman (Laura); as well as numerous cousins and their families. Her “adopted” family also included the entire Mueller family; Mike and Glenna Stidham and their children Stacy, Scott, and Stuart; and Erin Oller (Tom) and Jason Madison (Sherri), who Pam considered her children.

Pam also gave her time to organizations that she cared deeply about. She was a member and officer of both Junior Hospitality and the AH Chapter of P.E.O. Most recently she (along with Vance) served on the Board of Directors of the Oklahoma Tennis Foundation.

The family is grateful for the care and attention of Southern Skies Homecare. For the past 7 months, their services enabled Vance to care for Pam at home, where she wanted to be. Additionally, the family is grateful for the kindness and grace shown by Oklahoma Hospice and Palliative Care, who provided care for the final 2 weeks of her life.

A celebration of life will be held at Smith and Kernke Funeral Home (14624 North May Avenue, Oklahoma City, OK 73134) on Saturday, December 6 at 10:00am. A reception will follow. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the Oklahoma Tennis Foundation, which promotes tennis and education across Oklahoma, at https://www.oktennisfoundation.org/.